So, I left the internet for 24 hours, to give myself a breather.
In the time that happened, this went up:
Oh and this happened
For those of you without a Fetlife?
I’m a newblet. This I know, I am aware, and I bow before (okay, at least a respectful head nod) to those that know more, with longer years of practice and education.
I am well aware I do not know the internal workings of Shibaricon, of the people who work there, and am only slowly getting to know some of the people on this list.
The things I’m scratching my head at?
- Who the fuck lets a guy with multiple consent violations, or at least allegations thereof, teach?
- Who the fuck lets a guy with multiple consent violations (or allegations) teach bottoms?
- Who the fucks lets a guy with multiple consent violations (or allegations) teach bottoms stupid fucking lack of consent, safety or awareness of even basic things like hydration?
I am new. I am aware of this. But I’m also in my body. I’m a dancer. I’m a musician. I do dynamic fucking suspension, and am learning things like aerial silks. What does that mean? I know my damn body, I know what it needs, and I am aware that all of these things require a certain amount of self care, such as, say, hydration.
I do not know said presenter in question myself. I did not go to the class he presented. But presenting dangerous misinformation such as not needing to hydrate, or be physically in your body?
To not use CONSENT or emphasize it’s importance, in a community that’s validation to exist, practically, is the fact we are aware and respectful of consent? In fact, to brush that off?
That, in case you could not tell from this frothing at the mouth rant, makes me incredibly angry.
I am new. But this is my community.
What else have I noticed about this?
This hit K&P with the Shibaricon Concerns posts:
These are posts I have seen increasingly, more and more over the last year. Of people popping up, with more harassment, more violations of consent, and it scares the living fuck out of me, as someone who has had her consent ignored on multiple levels, by multiple people.
The thing I am going to beat until I am blue in the face, that I said already in this post?
Our little subculture, of events and things like Shibaricon, from leathers to rope alike?
Our little subculture exists on the validation that we respect consent, and do not abuse it (and yes, that includes things like abusing people who volunteer for events), because WIIWD are things that people are consenting to. That we are in fact not sick in the head (or if we are, we are in this together) but in fact in want of the things we do, and negotiate around.
I am new. And I have a small voice, that will probably not be heard. But if you don’t respect the basic fact of that consent, which is a problem ongoing?
Get the hell off my blog.
…Those numbers are even worse than victim self-reports of rape in the general population; which the New York Times reports as about 20% based on a study supported by the National Institute of Justice….
…The best data we have shows that a third of kinksters have experienced a consent violation, 30% of kinksters have had their negotiated limits violated and 15% have their safeword ignored….